


Fool Walking Day

by Canso99



Series: Series One-offs [8]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27011176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canso99/pseuds/Canso99
Summary: It's Fool Walking Day on Arsha's ship, her home's equivalent to April Fool's Day. Melandra's about to pull his best prank ever.
Series: Series One-offs [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735669





	Fool Walking Day

It was a peaceful day on the _Endeavor_. No Mega-sharks to beat back, no pirates, no morally stunted monk/doctors, no murders, just peace. Arsha had just finished the duty roster for the day and posted it on the ship’s message board. She then left her quarters, making her way to the bridge, when she bumped into Melandra. “Good Morning, Captain,” greeted the Drider in a sunny disposition.

“Good Morning,” returned Arsha. “You seem to be in a good mood.”

“I am,” confirmed Melandra. “Captain, do you know what today is?”

“Today?” asked Arsha. “It’s Melnath 1st, why do you...?” she then stopped as she remembered the significance of the day. “Oh, no,” she sighed. “No, no! Lieutenant, aren’t you ever gonna give it up?”

“Not a chance, Ma’am,” answered Melandra. “I’ll get a rise out of him this time!”

“You’ll cause a mess doing so!” snapped Arsha.

“You wound me, Captain!” protested Melandra.

“...There’s no dissuading you, is there, Mr. Skarenta?” sighed Arsha.

“No chance,” confirmed Melandra. Arsha sighed again.

“I’ll tell Marshii to have the med-bay on standby,” she muttered to herself.

* * *

“Chief Science Officer’s log:” began Elmar Rotem, “Melnath 1st, 55,004, TAU, 07:33:47. A most intriguing occurrence has taken place in my gift from Calandra. The roses she had sent have changed color. I have studied each one and have determined that this is a natural cause. A fascinating discovery. I have already submitted my findings to the Realmfleet Science Bureau and currently await their insights. End log.” Elmar shut off the recorder and returned to his workstation where the pot of roses had just changed color again, from green to pink. “Most curious,” he mused. His door chimed. “Enter,” he called. Melandra then came in with a smirk. “Never mind,” sighed Elmar. “You may leave.”

“Me?” asked Melandra. “Leave?”

“It is Melnath 1st,” muttered Elmar. “You try to provoke an emotional outburst every time this particular day arrives. I cannot pretend to understand your fascination with these now 3,287 attempts.”

“Come now, you wound me!” replied Melandra in mock hurt.

“Go away,” demanded Elmar.

“Very well,” sighed Melandra as he left Elmar’s quarters. Elmar sighed. He was going to have to be on his guard today.

* * *

A few hours later, Elmar and Marshii were discussing the nature of the roses he had received over lunch at Barmek’s. Mrs. Barmek was interested as well as she had never heard of color-changing roses, and her mother had a very lucrative gardening business. She then noticed something. “Hey, Elmar, you’re eating kind of slow,” she observed.

“Just waiting for Melandra’s newest prank,” replied Elmar.

“He’s gonna fail to get a rise out of you,” assured Marshii. “This makes it, what, 3,000 attempts?”

“3,287,” replied Elmar. It took a while, but he finished his food as they talked. Nothing happened.

* * *

After a few more completed duties, Elmar retired to his quarters to meditate. He lit the incense and kneeled, taking in a deep breath and shutting his eyes...only to open them a few seconds later. Another deep breath...and another brief glance around his room. This went on for an hour, until the incense had burned away. He didn’t feel any relaxed. If anything, he felt tense.

* * *

In the Science Lab, Orthena was talking to Elmar about a new type of wyvern discovered in her home of the Altiam Mountains. However, Elmar was looking around and poking his head upwards occasionally. “Sir!” snapped Orthena. Elmar then snapped to attention. “Have you been listening to a word I’ve said?” rumbled Orthena.

“No,” admitted Elmar. “No, I haven’t. I apologize.”

“What’s on your mind?” asked Orthena.

“Melandra, that’s what,” explained Elmar. “He hasn’t pranked me all day.”

“...And that worries you?” asked Orthena. “If anything, you should relax.”

“Why can’t he just do it already?!” he hissed, not listening.

* * *

On the bridge, it was just Arsha, Melandra, Nazay, Shalvey, and Elmar at their stations. The trip was uneventful, so it wasn’t necessary for the ENTIRE bridge crew to be there. Elmar continually glanced toward Melandra in a worried state but the rest of the crew was relaxed. Arsha yawned as she stretched in the Captain’s chair. “...I’m about ready for a nap,” she mused.

“You could take one here,” replied Nazay.

“You know,” chuckled Arsha, “I think I...” she was interrupted by shouting.

“JUST DO IT AND GET IT OVER WITH!!!” bellowed Elmar to Melandra. Everyone turned and stared at the Wood Elf. Melandra then howled with laughter.

“I just did!” he laughed. “Man, I got you good! I should have done that years ago on the _Saber_! A fool walks among us!” Elmar was then acutely aware of the staring going on and sped from the bridge to hide his embarrassment. As Melandra roared in laughter, the rest of the bridge crew members wondered what emotional clone swooped in and replaced their usually stoic Chief Science Officer. Then, Arsha remembered.

“Lieutenant,” she warned Melandra, “you may want to sleep lightly tonight.”

“Come on, he’s a Wood Elf,” he giggled. “He doesn’t see the logic in revenge!”

“Just because they’re usually logical,” replied Shalvey, “does NOT mean they won’t put logic aside.”

* * *

“Yes, Falnimam,” Melandra boasted to his visiting larger Drider girlfriend, “it was quite easy to rile him up.” Falnimam giggled. “I mean, it’s rare to see a Wood Elf of the Over-realm so spun up, but it can be done.”

“Oh, Melly!” giggled Falnimam. “But aren’t you worried he’ll pay you back?”

“Wood Elves don’t think in those terms,” assured Melandra as they entered his quarters. “He’s just too......WHAT IN THE DEPTHS OF THE AFTER-REALM HAPPENED TO MY QUARTERS?!”

“I thought you hated pink!” yelped Falnimam. The walls were pink instead of blue!

“I do!” answered Melandra. “This must be someone’s sick idea of a joke!” He then heard a paintbrush being dropped into a full paint can. After that, the acrid smell of an invisibility spell being cancelled filled the room as Elmar and a can of paint appeared near a wall. “Wha...Elmar?” stammered Melandra. “Bu...but you...I mean, you...!”

“Revenge is usually illogical,” smirked Elmar, “but in some cases, it is unbelievably satisfying. The paint has already dried, so you can paint it blue again at your leisure.” He then left the room.

“...YOU POINTY EARED RAT!” roared Melandra as he poked his head out the door and shouted at Elmar’s retreating figure. “I’M GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS! DON’T YOU DARE GO TO SLEEP!” The threat would have little meaning as it was forgotten. Happy Fool Walking Day, or rather, Happy April Fool’s day!

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea from a Transformers fanfic where Skywarp pulled this on Soundwave and got the exact same results as Melandra got with Elmar.


End file.
